After reading everything on grc.com about the 2001 DoS and DDoS attacks against them, it’s renewed my interest in programming. While I really love writing code in PHP that is accessible to everyone with a web browser, there are many limitations to web-based coding. It simply wasn’t designed to do some of the things I want it to do.

One of the big projects I’ve been working on, and which I’ve probably mentioned before, is my IRC chat bot. I’ve written several bots in mIRC using their proprietary scripting language, which was very simple, since they handle all of the IRC connection issues, and simply provide functions to send / receive messages and other commands. Unfortunately, since this is based on a Windows application, it must be left running on a desktop, connected to my DSL at home. Not only is this far less stable than I’d like, but it also subjects the bot to incredible lag at times, particularly when I’m uploading something else. To fix both, I really need to write a bot in something that can run directly on my server.

In this situation, learning something like Perl would seem to be the most appropriate, but I really have no desire at all (absolutely zero) to learn it. I’m not really sure why, but I just have this odd bias against Perl. I guess I’ve just never given it a chance, but it always seems to find some way to annoy me and not work.

That still leaves some of the more popular languages. I still hate C++, but oddly don’t mind C#. I have no experience with Java, but I’ve heard that it is very similar to C#. Java also has the added benefit of being cross-platform, so I have the potential ability to continue to run my IRC bot on my Linux server, while still having the ability to run client-side applications, just as in all the other major languages (C++, C#, Visual Basic, Delphi, you name it).

The only problem with that scenario is that I have to use Java. It’s always had a reputation as a horrible resource hog (which I think is well deserved and earned), so I have a justified hatred towards it, as opposed to Perl, which I just hate because it’s different and strange.

So what do you guys recommend? What’s your favorite language? Are there any you know of that would meet all my requirements? Are there any that are similar enough to PHP to reduce the learning curve? Other suggestions?

Originally published and updated .