OK, I don’t usually like to randomly link to thinks I’ve found or read through other sites unless I have something to add to it, but this was just so funny I had to pass it along…

Lies Verizon DSL Support Has Told Me Today
• “Phone lines over 14 feet will, over time, fry your modem.”

• “Your phone lines are like a car. Every once in a while, they need service.”

• “We cannot send a service technician to your house.”

• “I’d be happy to help you today.”

• “It is impossible to speak to my supervisor. My supervisor is Verizon.”

• “This is the ‘North American’ office.”

• “There is not electricity going down your phone line, sir. It’s data. Electricity has nothing to do with it.”

and…

Lies I Have Told Verizon DSL Support Today
• “I am an IEEE-certified electrical engineer.”

• “I would be happy to wait.”

• “I have completed all your tests as you requested, including rewiring my house.”

• “My secondary phase-coupling array shows a positive electricon flow across my end-to-end wiring.”

• “Have a nice day.”

• “I am sorry I used the term ‘totally assed in my face.’”

(Source: Ed Bott – Windows (and Office) Expertise)